Wyatt's Words Part 1

At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.
Matthew 11:25

This year, I've decided I'm going to write about the little munchkins individually, so I can focus more on my sons as individuals, not just as, "the boys." Wyatt, as usual, was highly quotable this week. Be forewarned, I quote my children exactly, from Alan's run-on sentences (he's like his mother that way) to Wyatt's inability to pronounce his th's. :) Here is a small sampling of my life with Wy-guy:

"Mama, I have somefing very exciting to tell you! It is very important ..." *reads from his first grade teacher's newsletter* "Pwease watch for report cards on FRIDAY!"

{By the way, Wyatt doesn't differentiate much, it's part of his Autism. If it's important in his mind, it is URGENT! It could be a fire in the kitchen, it could be a new episode of Sponge Bob. Here's an example of that from a little while ago ...}

Wyatt: Mama, I need to talk to you!

Me: *in a hushed whisper* Wyatt, mommy's on the phone! Is this an emergency?

Wyatt: Yes, because I really need cheese ...

{At Bedtime}
Wyatt: I don't know who I'm going to marry, so I fink I will just never get married, because I don't have a pwan.

Me: Honey, you're only six! You don't have to have a plan about that yet!

Wyatt: Well what would she fink about wiving in China? Because I'm moving there when I'm a grown-up, you know ...

{Breakfast time blues}
Wyatt: Mommy, this oatmeal wooks wike FROW UP!"

Me: *slightly alarmed by his commentary* Wyatt, that's rude!

Wyatt: But mommy, I didn't say it tasted wike frow up ...

"Mommy, I read my report card, I'm gwad to see that my teacher knows I excel at maff and reading, because I do ... but I need to work on my group activities and cooperating. It says here *points* that I am working on building rewationships and maintaining fwiendships, and that is TRUE!" I fink this is a good report card, what do you fink, mommy?"
(I "fink" there are positives and negatives to having a six year old with autism who can read so well!)

{New words from Social Therapy}
"Mommy, we have a goal for the week from my social finking class-- it goes, 'Fink, Fink, Fink before you act!' That is also called deliberativeness!"

{Dinner Time}
"Mommy, I wove it when the pizza man comes! He turns our dining room into a beautiful Italian restaurant wiff gwuten-free pizzas!"

{Bedtime again, we had just finished reading how Moses was rescued from the Nile by Pharoh's daughter, nursed by his biological mother, Jochebed, then raised in the palace. Wyatt said he had a question; I was certain it would be about Moses. This was his commentary ...}
"I wonder who I should make friends wiff on the pwayground at recess ..."

Yup, that's my boy! :) I know I'm biased, but I really do think he is one of the most awesome people on the planet (or, as he would say it, the pwanet)! I always learn valuable lessons from my kiddos. This week, Wyatt and I learned together about "deliberativeness."

Deliberativeness is not just a really great scrabble word, it's a word my little guy struggles with on a regular basis. He can read it, write it with beautifully-spaced printing-- he can even memorize the definition! Understanding what it really means and applying it, however, is much harder for him. Autism makes decisions very difficult. He either reacts quickly (this rarely ends well) or obsesses, focuses and frets so much over knowing the "right" or "perfect" answer until he dissolves into tears, gets a tummy ache or throws a temper tantrum (and whatever else he can reach at the time) out of sheer frustration. The same brilliant mind that allowed him to read at three years of age is bewildered by the many illogical, situationally-differing and grey areas of life.

There was a situation earlier in the week when the boys had been hyped-up and silly (a common occurrence over here) and Wyatt got so excited that he ran over to his brother and crashed into him, smacking him repeatedly on the head. He wasn't angry, nor was he trying to provoke Alan. He just exerted all that extra energy in an inappropriate (and painful!) way. Alan is used to this, but understandably, he doesn't appreciate it. After removing Wyatt from the area, we talked about his actions. Wyatt hung his little head in shame and said, "Deliberativeness-- I did NOT remember, mama. I didn't 'fink-fink-fink' and I hurt my brudder. I don't wike it when I do this ..."

Hugging Wyatt, we talked about how to make things right with "brudder." Thankfully, Alan is an empathetic soul who is quick to forgive. He even made Wyatt laugh by telling him, "Well, I guess you'll just have to do all my homework!" All was well again; just like that.

Things don't always work out so simply; there are times when making amends with Alan requires more than a hug and offering to make his bed. Last fall, Wyatt was playing his brother's hand-held gaming system. When the batteries started to run low, it wasn't working properly. Understandably frustrated, Wyatt threw the console and broke it. He was immediately sorry; and not just because he knew he was in BIG trouble. Lying on the floor was proof that Wyatt had over-reacted. He knew it was wrong, and he knew he couldn't fix the game. He also couldn't afford a new one. He needed us to intervene.

First of all, Wyatt had to apologize. Not just for breaking Alan's toy, but for throwing it. Even if nothing had broken, he had blatently disrespected something that was not his. Once that was done, we talked to Wyatt about how he was going to make this right. He would lose his beloved Wii for a solid month. With his schedule freed up, he would be doing extra chores around the house to help work off the cost of a new console for Alan. For once, Wyatt didn't argue. He certainly didn't enjoy "doing time," but he took it like a big boy.

We were all glad when the punishment had run its' course, including "brudder!" Even though their relationship was far from perfect, Alan had missed playing games with Wyatt. He had missed hanging out and watching movies while Wyatt was doing extra chores. He had missed chatting with him before bed, since Wyatt also had an early bedtime for a few days. Alan had even tried a time or two to convince me to get his brother off grounding early, saying he didn't really even play with his game much anymore. He wanted the situation reconciled as much as Wyatt did; maybe even more.

As a parent, I have had to help both my children reconcile many times. As a child of God. I am in constant need of His intervention! I have been reckless with my thoughts, words and actions more times than I can bear to contemplate. In pursuit of my own desires, I have broken my relationship with God. We all have. We are so blessed to have a Father who will intervene; knowing we cannot fix this mess ourselves. We can't buy it, we can't make it, we can't earn it. We fall short every time we try!

Jesus was the epitome of "deliberativeness," giving up something that cost him dearly and knowing full-well what the consequences would be. He bore all of our punishment upon Himself, that we might be reconciled to The Father.

While we certainly still endure earthly consequences for our actions, we do not have to "work off" our salvation. We are not "on restriction" until we're good enough! We do not do good works out of obligation, but out of gratitude!

May the God of grace and reconciliation empower us to be deliberative, that we may glorify Him!

In Lenten Love and Friendship,
Amy